May 19th, 2008
Current Music: Rock Plaza Central
Dear Rock Plaza Central,
Please play in Ottawa again very soon. I've only seen you live once, about a month or so ago, maybe more. This needs to be remedied by you returning to play very soon.
Much much love,
December 19th, 2007
Dear Ryan Ross,
The woman who helped me in the make-up store today thought you looked hot.
So do I, but that's beside the point. For now, I just wanted to thank you for having such an amazing dress sense and knowing how to put on awesome make-up. You inspire me to be a better person
or something. At least it sounds good.
With love (lots of it),
P.S. You, Brenden, Jon and Spence? Should definitely work hard on the new album. Because I'm excited about it. <3
August 28th, 2007
Dear Labour Day travellers,
Get off the fucking roads, and let me rent my rental car in peace!
Because of you, I had to pay an extra $50. When I am working, this is relatively acceptable. When I am unemployed however, this makes fills me with rageahol. I'm liable right now to cut a bitch, or three. I mean it's not like you guys have to pay an underage driver's fee. Why couldn't you go to other rental companies and leave a car for little ole me at Enterprise?
You have been forewarned.
August 7th, 2007
Dear Reckless Driver Who Nearly Ran Me Down Today,
I *completely* understand being in a hurry to get somewhere because you're late. I also can sympathize with the stress you were undoubtedly feeling when you realized you made a wrong turn. I, too, have made the decision to turn around in a driveway upon finding myself going the wrong way to my destination. However, I generally look to make sure that there isn't someone walking on the sidewalk in front of that driveway before whipping my car into the driveway at a tire-squealing speed. I would advise that you try that "looking" thing the next time you're running late, because the next person may not be as quick to jump out of your way as I was. You may also want to try saying "sorry" to people you nearly run down rather than curse them out for walking on the sidewalk.
Mary Anna >:(
August 6th, 2007
Dear Person pretending to be from TD Canada Trust;
I do not have a bank account with TD Canada Trust. Thus, your phoney phishing emails trying to get my account information are not going to work, because even if I *was* gullible enough to fall for that scam, I don't have any TD Canada Trust account information to give you ANYWAYS!
So please stop emailing me.
July 26th, 2007
I miss you like crackheads in rehab miss drugs.
Maybe that's a bad analogy, but jesus do I want to be next to you right now.
July 18th, 2007
Dear Recent Ex-Boyfriend,
You asked me for a second chance and told me that you were an idiot and that it doesn't matter if my best friend is a boy and that if piercings make me happy, I should do it. You said that you like me a lot and I'm worth the second try. I told you I would think about it while I was in Los Angeles and give you an answer on August 18, when I come back to San Francisco. I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE YOU BACK. I'm sorry, I know you like me much, but I don't return the feelings. Good luck with love, though. :/
June 18th, 2007
Why do you hate me so much? We started out really cool and it seemed like everything was going to work out... then you go and do something like this. I spent a good deal of my weekend trying to come up with the best way to approach this research paper and have come up nil. I totally realize that in the end it really doesn't matter whether or not the two of us work out, because it's just a transfer credit... but still, I would have liked for us to part ways amicably. I'm going to try again on my lunch break today, and hopefully you won't have me completely stumped. It's really sad that one thing such as this can cause such problems. I had my reservations when we started this endeavor, but I tried to stick through it. Now I know better.
June 15th, 2007
Current Music: the frattelis
I know you haven't hear from me ever since I moved out, but there's a very good reason for that.
You suck. You really, really do. At first I thought you were just shy, and that's ok, because I'm not exactly Janice Dickinson's more outgoing sister, and I know it's hard out there for us shy people.
But you are not shy. You're rude. And selfish. And completely self-centered.
Just for the record, when you're living with someone, and they're paying half the rent, they're entitled to have access to all house-things, with the exception of your own personal stuff. You're not renting a bedroom, you're sharing the rent of a whole apartment. So the kitchen isn't only yours. And when your roommate gets home and you're cooking/eating, it's considerate polite to offer something. When you have a friend over, it's better to introduce said friend to your roommate, and not sit on the kitchen, with your backs turned, eating (without offering something) and basically ignoring the fact that someone else is in the same room.
Lastly, and most importantly, when your roomate is moving out, and their nearly 60 year old mother is helping to carry out one gazzilion giant bags, a bed, shelves, chairs, a mattress, computer and what-not, you're supposed to open you bedroom door and say:
"Oh, jeez, that looks heavy, do you need any help?"
Even if do not fell like helping.
So I feel so, oh so sorry that you're having trouble paying the rent all by yourself now, but I'm only a college student and I don't know absolutely anyone who needs to share a apartment. Sorry.
June 7th, 2007
dear corvette and cayenne,
there is nothing whatsoever special about you. yeah, sure, you cost about three times as much as my jetta, but guess what? NO ONE CARES. plus, you, corvette, are yellow, which is simply a despicable color for a car that doesn't accept money in exchange for rides.
please stop taking up two, sometimes three parking spaces in our already overcrowded parking garage.
because next time i have to park on level five, i'm going to squeeze my small german car in that half space you've left and laugh and point when you can't open your driver side door. ass.