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Yours truly,

July 6th, 2014

You're making a mistake. @ 11:44 pm

Current Mood: sad sad
Current Music: The chime on my phone telling me I have a text message

You know her track record with men. You know how trashy she is, yet you insist on being with her. Okay, fine. It's your happiness I'm concerned about, and if you're happy, fine, you're happy.

But you've got a lot of goals set up for yourself, and she's only going to hold you back. You want to be a prosecuting attorney. You have to understand that people like her will crumble that dream for you.

Don't you know about the charges of animal abuse and cruelty against her? Or how about the child neglect case being built? What about her scamming people for money for her kid?


It's up to you.

I just . . . .None of us who care about you, legitimately care, want to see you get hurt.

But, it's your life.

You live it.

Know that we're here, faces in palms, waiting for you to come to your senses.

October 27th, 2012

Dear son.... @ 10:53 am

Current Location: USA, Columbus, OH
Current Mood: thankful thankful
Current Music: Phillips, Craig, and Dean "Great Are You, Lord"

Dear Wolfgang,

Happy birthday, son! I miss you something fierce! I can't believe you're 17! I can't help but wonder how you'd look, what your personality would be like..... I know you're as beautiful now as you were when I learned I was pregnant. I know you're in Heaven, you and your sister, and you're watching out for Jessyka and me.

I love and miss you, my son. I look forward to the day I can see you again, never to be separated.

You are loved, you are cherished, you are missed.



Posted via LjBeetle

August 24th, 2012

Dear Rude Woman at Dollar General... @ 11:28 pm

Current Location: USA, Columbus, OH
Current Mood: judged too harshly without having known me
Current Music: Chris Tomlin - "I Lift My Hands"

Dear rude woman at Dollar General,

While you were gawking at my arms in obvious disgust wondering what's wrong with me and making me feel even more über self-conscious about my mental illness than I already am, I was gawking back at you wondering where your manners are.

Didn't you learn, it's rude to stare?

Yes, I have OCD. I have Trichotillomania.

Google it.

I pull my hair.

I've done it for many years, and no, I do not know why I started doing it. I used to do it on my legs when I was a little kid. I do not feel ok with "just shaving" my hair from my arms, given ... other .... things I've done in my past. I know my arms look "strange," "gross," and "disturbing," maybe even "disgusting."

Trust me, I wish I didn't do this more than you wish you didn't have to see it. People like you are the reason people like me are shy about going out into the public and interacting with people. I don't live to impress by looks. I sure don't live to please the likes of your rude selves, either. Get over it.

Someone who struggles with mental disease far less than she does with holding back from the desire to jack-smack your face so hard, it's on the back of your head! Thank God you're not worth the jail time, lady. Thank Him, too, that I'm learning mercy and grace are the better things to extend to those who hurt me.

Mercy = not getting what I deserve.
Grace = getting what I don't deserve.


Posted via LjBeetle

June 10th, 2012

Dear Wolfgang... @ 06:14 pm

Current Mood: peaceful peaceful

Dear son,

16 years ago today, you left Daddy and me to go play in Heaven. It has never been easy to keep going, but by God's strength alone, I have managed to find courage I had no clue existed. For many, many years, I harboured guilt of "What if I had done x different...," but I learned that guilt isn't mine to carry. It isn't anyone's. I now, instead of mourning, praise God for giving me the blessing and honour of choosing me to be your Mommy. I miss you fiercely everyday, but I tell myself, and I can hear you whisper to my heart that it's alright, that each day I find the strength to get up and live, even if I only take it a second at a time, I am honouring your memory.

I love you SOOOOOOO much. I no longer rail against Heaven, no more screaming how unfair it is. None of those things will accomplish anything. I have accepted things as best I am able. I am trying everyday to make it through, knowing one day, one glorious, beautiful day, we will reunite, never, EVER to part, never, EVER separated again.

Thank You, Jesus, for my beautiful treasure that is my son. Thank You, that of all the women from Eve to the last woman ever to live, whomever she will be, You chose ME to have such an amazing honour to bring such a precious little person into the world.

Wolfie, Bis wir uns wiedersehen, meine wunderschöne kleine Mann, weißt du Mama lebt! <3

Love, now and forever,

July 17th, 2011

Dear God . . . @ 05:48 pm

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: grateful grateful
Current Music: "Phenomenon"

Dear God,

I just wanted to write You a letter and say THANK YOU SO MUCH for blessing me with such an amazing husband.

Thank You that he is my best friend, and I am his. Thank you that he has seen me through my worst days and still managed to stick around, and loves me regardless.

Thank You that he is honest, loving, caring, and gentle.

Thank You that I can tell him things and I know he understands what I'm trying to say, and that when he talks to me, he isn't lying to me. Thank You.

Thank You for such an amazing gift: my best friend.


Your daughter

November 10th, 2010

A contented sigh, a catch of breath at a pain in my soul. . . . @ 08:38 pm

Current Mood: loved loved

Dear . . . You.

You know who you are. You know all about our . . . situation.

I have already addressed this in the e-mail I sent you tonight, but I cannot help but kick myself repeatedly for the situation that went down a few years ago. I still cringe over how I allowed that to happen the way it did, and I am still so very, very sorry. I know you forgive me, but I am trying so hard to learn to forgive myself. It is not easy, and I am trying.

We have had a very unique bond since 1997. Our friendship is something that has always and will always continue to be special and precious to me. The way I not only allowed things to play out, but my own actions, is inexcusable. You know how I feel about excuses and acts of random stupidity and meanness. I used to be that person, and I am striving daily to NOT be that girl anymore. I love hearing from you. I always find myself smiling and happy that there's notifications in my e-mail that you've sent me a message on facebook. I find myself so touched and blessed that you forgive me as freely as you have, and continue to do. Thank you for that.

Saying those three little words to you earlier, it was not easy, as you are already aware. You and I have been so close for so long, you are already aware that I meant every syllable. I don't say things like that just to be saying them.

Thank you.

July 20th, 2009

Neighbors | 07/20/09 @ 04:19 pm

Dear Neighbors,

I realize that the Parks and Recreation people needed to use our driveway to get into the yard of the people next door in order to cut down their tree, but you really overdid it when it came to helping them. Violently banging on our doors and windows, peering in through the windows and yelling at the top of your lungs isn't going to make my father or I come outside to find out what you want.

When I peeked out of the side of my curtain and saw a crowd of you staring at my window and listened to you scream that you knew we were inside, I was honestly scared to find out what was going on.

Might I suggest ringing the doorbell next time?




August 10th, 2008

MORE! MORE! MORE! @ 10:39 am

Dear Lovelies,
Thanks for your help so far, but now that we've got the ball rollin, we gotsta keep it goin! We want your letters, good or bad, old or new to publish on our site (pswhatiforgottosay.blogspot.com check it!) If you wanna send us some cool hard-copies or art or a dirty sock (with a ps of course) you can send it to our P.O. box...those are our favorite!

Check us out, then help us out!

po box 266
new york, ny 10113

the panty squad

July 13th, 2008


Dear Livejournal Community,
we are compiling anonymous letters for a book we intend to publish which borrows solely the post script "p.s." of the letters. by responding to this post, you agree to have us publish your letter, but don't be scared!

please send us emails, letters (scanned or directly to our po box!), photos with a letter, etc. but do make sure to include the letter in its entirety [though we will only use the postscript section]! & of course, please feel free to send letters in any language!

remember, by sending us your letters, you consent to letting us use do this, and we promise to be your friends! and let us tell you, we're worth it! thank you.



po box 266
new york, ny 10113

Love always,
Panty Squad

June 9th, 2008

Dear Winamp, you jerk... @ 11:25 pm

Why doth you torment me so, with your sad love songs when I'm in a terrible mood and sad from boys being jerks.

Oh programmers of winamp, is this a trick you wrote into the program? It magically knows what mood you are in and why so as to torment you and make you need to listen to more music. This is not nice of you. No not at all.



Yours truly,